
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/10987068.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Gravity_Falls
  Relationship:
      Stanford_Pines_&_Stanley_Pines, Filbrick_Pines/Stanford_Pines, Filbrick
      Pines/Stanley_Pines
  Additional Tags:
      Fan_Comics, Childhood_Sexual_Abuse, Parent/Child_Incest, Dissociation,
      Heavy_Angst, Abusive_Filbrick_Pines, NSFW_Art, Depersonalization
  Series:
      Part 1 of Fildick_AU
  Stats:
      Published: 2017-05-24 Completed: 2017-06-21 Chapters: 35/35 Words: 0
****** a dream in static ******
by Godtater_(Karaii)
Summary
     I had a dream where Stan and I were on a huge boat.
     But then a storm came, and our boat turned over!
     I lost sight of Stan. I was engulfed by water.
     I think I drowned.
     (This is not a happy story.)
***** Content Warning *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
[content warnings]
Chapter End Notes
     I will be adding cw: to the beginning notes of each chapter. Please
     read carefully and take care of yourselves. If at any point you feel
     overwhelmed, please, PLEASE take a break from reading, or stop
     reading entirely.
     This is NOT a happy story. But it IS a fictional one.
     That being said: here we go.
***** Ground Zero *****
Chapter by Godtater_(Karaii), Karaii
Chapter Notes
     cw: noncon parent/child incest, oral sex, grooming, violent child
     abuse
     Drawn May 15, 2017.
***** Fault *****
Chapter by Godtater_(Karaii), Karaii
Chapter Notes
     cw: implied child abuse, unintended victim blaming, sadness
     Drawn May 15, 2017.
***** Work *****
Chapter by Godtater_(Karaii), Karaii
Chapter Notes
     cw: sadness
     Drawn May 16, 2017.
***** Request *****
Chapter by Godtater_(Karaii), Karaii
Chapter Notes
     cw: dubcon parent/child incest, oral sex, sadness
     Drawn May 17, 2017.
***** Share *****
Chapter by Godtater_(Karaii), Karaii
Chapter Notes
     cw: implied sexual child abuse, sadness
     Drawn May 17, 2017.
***** Dream *****
Chapter by Godtater_(Karaii), Karaii
Chapter Notes
     cw: bed wetting, sadness
     Drawn May 17, 2017.
***** Shower *****
Chapter by Godtater_(Karaii), Karaii
Chapter Notes
     cw: child abuse, sadness
     Drawn May 17, 2017.
***** Drown *****
Chapter by Godtater_(Karaii), Karaii
Chapter Notes
     cw: violent child abuse, sexual assault, watersports/piss kink,
     dehumanization, dissociation
     Drawn May 18, 2017
***** The Rat *****
Chapter by Godtater_(Karaii), Karaii
Chapter Notes
     cw: child abuse, child trauma, animal cruelty, dissociation
     Drawn May 19, 2017.
***** Hatred *****
Chapter by Godtater_(Karaii), Karaii
Chapter Notes
     cw: violent child abuse, implied noncon parent/child incest
     Drawn May 21, 2017
***** Monster (Stan's Side) *****
Chapter by Godtater_(Karaii), Karaii
Chapter Notes
     cw: noncon parent/child incest, extreme dissociation
     Drawn May 22, 2017
***** Monster (Ford's Side) *****
Chapter by Godtater_(Karaii), Karaii
Chapter Notes
     cw: violent+graphic noncon parent/child incest, implied noncon
     sibling incest
     Drawn May 25, 2017.
***** Mom *****
Chapter by Godtater_(Karaii), Karaii
Chapter Notes
     A bit of a time skip.
     Drawn May 19, 2017.
***** Funeral *****
Chapter by Godtater_(Karaii), Karaii
Chapter Notes
     cw: minor character death
     Drawn May 22, 2017.
***** Funeral (after) *****
Chapter by Godtater_(Karaii), Karaii
Chapter Notes
     cw: dubcon parent/child incest
***** Runaway *****
Chapter by Godtater_(Karaii), Karaii
Chapter Notes
     cw: sadness
***** Midnight *****
Chapter by Godtater_(Karaii), Karaii
Chapter Notes
     cw: dubcon parent/child incest
***** Carla *****
Chapter by Godtater_(Karaii), Karaii
Chapter Notes
     cw: gasp! consensual heterosexual encounters!!
***** Violence *****
Chapter by Godtater_(Karaii), Karaii
Chapter Notes
     cw: graphic violence, slurs
***** Repercussions *****
Chapter by Godtater_(Karaii), Karaii
Chapter Notes
     cw: referenced parent/child incest, slurs, sadness
***** Prodigal Son (Stan) *****
Chapter by Godtater_(Karaii), Karaii
Chapter Notes
     cw: dissociation, implied past parent/child abuse
***** Prodigal Son (Ford) *****
Chapter by Godtater_(Karaii), Karaii
Chapter Notes
     cw: dissociation, implied parent/child relationship
***** The Rift *****
Chapter by Godtater_(Karaii), Karaii
Chapter Notes
     cw: background parent/child incest
***** Lies *****
Chapter by Godtater_(Karaii), Karaii
Chapter Notes
     cw: parent/child incest
***** Runaway (Redux) *****
Chapter by Godtater_(Karaii), Karaii
***** Halcyon Blues *****
Chapter by Godtater_(Karaii), Karaii
***** The Fall *****
Chapter by Godtater_(Karaii), Karaii
Chapter Notes
     cw: dissociation, sexual assault, graphic violence

***** Kicked Out *****
Chapter by Godtater_(Karaii), Karaii
Chapter Notes
     cw: domestic dispute, slurs
***** Home Again *****
Chapter by Godtater_(Karaii), Karaii
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Chapter End Notes
     ....
***** Revenge *****
Chapter by Godtater_(Karaii), Karaii
Chapter Notes
     cw: parent/child incest, graphic violence
***** The Mask *****
Chapter by Godtater_(Karaii), Karaii
Chapter Notes
     cw: graphic violence, dissociation
***** Drown (Redux) *****
Chapter by Godtater_(Karaii), Karaii
Chapter Notes
     cw: dissociation, character death
***** Entropy *****
Chapter by Godtater_(Karaii), Karaii
Chapter Notes
     A perpetual motion machine has one purpose: to not stop.
     (So what happens when it does?)
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Chapter End Notes
     An explanation of Ford's actions in case they are unclear, as taken
     from my tumblr:
     Because this story is from Stanley’s POV I made it especially hard to
     intuit what Stanford was thinking at any given moment. This is
     because I wanted Stanley to be more sympathetic given that it is Evil
     Stan’s origin story, and he hates all Fords viscerally. However, I
     also strove to make Stanford’s actions believable, and if I failed to
     do this then that is my fault. Let me see if I can explain it a
     little :D
     cw: talk of child abuse and grooming
     When they were young, their father violently abused them both (though
     Stanley worse because Stanley kept talking back). To save Stan, Ford
     started to go to their father out of his own volition to keep him
     from harming Stanley. Filbrick started to use this to threaten Ford
     with all manner of things – if you don’t I’ll kill your brother, if
     you don’t I won’t pay for your school, if you don’t I won’t give you
     food – and conditioned Ford into 1) being terrified that if he didn’t
     comply everything would be even more awful on a basic necessities
     kind of way, and 2) coming to Filbrick for everything. Eventually,
     Filbrick added the element of the mask that dissociated Stanley from
     the events that were happening and asked Ford to participate, which
     Ford did even though he was horrified. This entirely knocked Stanley
     out of the conversation re: agency, and reinforced Ford’s need to
     obey else he’d end up just like that.
     Stanley kept fighting because he had no other way to feel control
     over his life. But Stanford had stopped fighting. To survive,
     mentally and physically, he started to comply with everything. And to
     survive, he started to force himself into rationalizing his actions –
     the fact that he too abused Stanley (”he deserved it for talking back
     so much”), the fact that he went to Filbrick almost willingly (”I’m
     doing it so he won’t kill us, so he’ll give me what I need – money,
     food, school”).
     To escape this nonending abuse – because Stanley didn’t have that
     perception of control like Ford did – Stanley started running away
     from home and staying elsewhere, and then it was just Filbrick and
     Stanford. Filbrick had ample time to groom Ford without being
     impulsed to physical violence due to Stan, and it became something
     purely sexual. Over the years, Ford’s body even started to enjoy it,
     which caused him more mental conflict. Ford decided to rationalize it
     by telling himself that HE was lying to Filbrick now, to convince him
     that Ford was in love with him, to get him to do more things for Ford
     than just basic necessities. As you can see, it worked – Filbrick
     himself started to believe Ford was really into him, and he bought
     him nice science things and supported his desire to become a great
     scientist.
     But daily reinforcement and a lifetime of habit and exposure to only
     a single person (because Stanley had left them both) caused Ford’s
     mind to become twisted around this one relationship, and he became
     confused himself. Did he really enjoy this? Did he really love
     Filbrick? He decided to just focus on school, focus on the goal of
     getting to college. That was his ticket out of there. He just had to
     get to West Coast Tech on a full scholarship so he wouldn’t have to
     rely on Filbrick at all. Then he could make a name for himself and
     get away and be a real human being. He just had to hold on until
     then. He just had to go on until then.
     Stan offered multiple times for Ford to run away with him, but Ford
     never took it. I think a part of him understood he would have to drop
     out of school like Stan did, and Ford didn’t want to. He wanted to
     become a scientist, and he could see the path to it. He could see the
     light at the end of his tunnel and he was capable of getting out
     there on top, if he could just hold on a little longer on this
     hellride. Just a bit more. Just one day more. Tomorrow is the day.
     Today is the day.
     And then Stanley came in and killed Filbrick, and made them both into
     murder suspects, destroying Ford’s chances of getting into his dream
     school, into becoming someone scientifically of merit. He’s now a
     suspect in the violent murder of his father, and when they realize
     there’s only one bed, a scandalous case of intergenerational incest.
     His whole future up in ash.
     Ford saw this the moment he knew Filbrick was going to die by
     Stanley’s hands. He saw this future and his heart became ice. The
     fight left him. He’d been fighting all his life in his own way, just
     like Stan, but now what he’d been fighting for was gone. Stan had
     ruined it.
***** Future (Snapshots) *****
Chapter by Godtater_(Karaii), Karaii
Chapter Notes
     The aftermath.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Chapter End Notes
     This is the end :')
     Thank you SO MUCH for following me along this story. It has been such
     an intense couple of weeks. This story came roaring out of me like
     Athena must have — from a headache, fully formed. I am emotionally
     wiped out by it, in a good way. I never expected people to like it,
     because it was so heavy and it was never intended to have a happy
     ending. But I’ve been blown away. You all are amazing.
     Thank you to everyone who has sent me encouraging messages and kindly
     liked and even more spectacularly reblogged this awful story. I am
     truly blessed <3
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